


Pieces Of Us

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s08e16 Three Words, mulder can be an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:31:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Mulder realizes he owes Scully an apology. Set after "Three Words".





	Pieces Of Us

“Scully, I’m sorry.” The apology falls from his mouth before she’s even fully opened the door. Her face remains blank, but Mulder doesn’t have more. Words, or anything else.

He is sorry. With every second that passes, he is more so. He’s thrown himself at life without considering how it might make Scully feel. That realization didn’t come until he went home, alone. His squeaky clean, cold home that does not feel like it’s his.

“Scully, I…” Before he came here he found a piece of Scully in his apartment. An earring, right under his bed. He picked it up and glared at it for a long time, wondering when she lost it. He put it in his pocket where it seemed to be burning a hole. Up until that moment he had not thought about her going through this, losing him. He had not thought about what him going back to work, to risking it all again could mean to Scully.

“Please come in,” Scully says, her voice formal. After the day they’ve had, how can he blame her? He steps inside, brushing against her stomach. The solid, real feel of it still baffles him.

She doesn’t take his coat, doesn’t seem to expect him to stay long. She crosses her arms over her chest and the sight is almost comical. To him, barely any time has passed. He only sees it every time he looks at Scully. Her hair is longer, her face fuller. There are new lines around her eyes. And then there’s the baby. Nothing reminds him how much he’s missed like her pregnancy.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, the words glued to his tongue.

“For what, Mulder?”

“All of it.”

“All of what?” Another thing that’s different; Scully’s emotions are palpable. She is vulnerable, soft. All of her is soft these days while he’s all rough edges, hard angles. How have they ever fit together?

“I wasn’t thinking. I just- I don’t know where I belong, Scully. I did the only thing I thought I knew how to do.”

“Running around, risking your life and not listening to me.”

He nods, hangs his head. He thinks of the earring in his pocket. He takes it out and hands it to Scully.

“I found this in my bedroom.” Her hand is warm and he wants to wrap himself around her. He misses her warmth, wants to feel it again.

“I’ve been looking all over for it. Where was it?”

“Under my bed.”

“I can’t really,” she points at her stomach shyly, “bend well.”

“You lost it after I…”

“I wore these to your funeral. I didn’t go home after. My mom and Skinner refused to leave me alone for the longest time. As soon as they did I went to your apartment. I needed to feel close to you in some way.” She’s lived a whole life without him. Has prepared to go on because she had no other choice. There are choices now. Mulder knows he needs to make one and soon.

“I…I didn’t know.”

“Mulder, I understand you’re confused. I understand that you need to find yourself again. But I can’t help you if you won’t let me. If all you want to do is risk your life day in and day out… I know now what life without you is like. I can’t- I won’t watch you throw yours away.”

“That’s not- Scully, I want to be here. I want to work through it. I just don’t know how.” It’s the truth. A weight falls off him as soon as the words are out. It’s not much, but it’s a beginning. He’s made his choice; it’s life, it’s Scully. He’ll follow her lead.

“You’re not alone.” She takes his hand into hers. So warm. So soft. He doesn’t deserve this. Not after the way he’s been treating her. He’s realizing it piece by piece, moment by moment. He’s still waking up from his nightmare, his brain not catching up as quickly as his body.

“Can I kiss you?” The request is ridiculous, but he wants to feel something he knows. His face must be desperate, because after her inital surprise Scully smiles at him. Still holding his hands, she gets on tiptoes and kisses his mouth. They both sigh as their lips come into contact for the first time in forever.

As she moves away Mulder is slow to open his eyes. He’s too afraid it’s not real. But it is. Scully puts their entwined hands on her stomach.

“You know it’s yours.” It’s not a question; she trusts him to do the math, to stop being an idiot. If just for a moment. Mulder nods, smiles gently at her.

“I was hoping,” he admits, his greatest fear voiced. “I didn’t know whether… after I was gone, I didn’t know if you’d…” Moved on. Forgot all about him. Cursed him. He was dead, to the world and to her.

There are so many things he still doesn’t understand. But one thing he does; the thing they started, the bliss they so briefly enjoyed, changed them forever.

Love. It looks at him now; his eyes, he knows, reflect the same.

“Thank you.” His voice is shaky. “I should leave let you get some rest.” He doesn’t want to let go of her hand, to leave her.

“No, Mulder,” Scully says, squeezing his hand. “Stay over.”


End file.
